What Should Have Happened After 'Nikki'
by chartreuseian
Summary: It's been a long day for Helen Magnus but, when she finds someone lurking in her bedroom, things aren't about to get any easier. Part 10 of my 'Should Have' series; the rewrite of Resistance. Rated for mature content!
1. The Visitor

**Sorry for the delay! I didn't have much fun trying to rewrite this. The only ideas I managed to come up with involved writing Nikola out of the script. And so this was born. It's set after the events of the episode and, as always, will get steamy. Not promising frequent updates because I have a pile of stuff that is steadily growing but, as you all know, reviews are often rewarded :P**

**xx**

* * *

Slumping her shoulders, Helen let out a heavy, if not clichéd sigh as she dragged her sore and rather tired body through the halls of her Sanctuary. It had been, not to put too fine of a point on it, a shit day. Despite the fact that Nikola hadn't lost his marbles and morals completely, nothing had really gone to plan the way she had hoped. Hell, finding Nikola there (and not in a cell) was more than enough to give her a headache to last for days but now, after having to deal with his very personal brand of insanity, she was certain the rest of the month was a bit of a write-off.

Running a hand through her hair, she did her best to stand a little straighter. It was an old habit but, having grown up in a house with a nanny who was unafraid to take a stick to the back of her slouching pupil, what else could she expect? There were even some moments when she found herself standing ramrod straight after hearing a too familiar swish of fabric. Though she was never sure if the sound was in her head or not.

It was too early for her to properly consider going to bed; barely past midnight but, between filling William in on everything that had occurred and, in turn, finding out the extent of what was going on with the abnormal factions, even those she had taken in, had taken far too much out of her. On top of that, she'd been working on the data Henry had taken from the tablet, trying to catalogue and digest what Nikola had gifted them with. Of course, it had only been half there, still in fragments that Henry hadn't managed to entirely piece together for her. It was her fault, for pushing him to get her the information as quick as possible but, as per usual, her own impatience had been her own downfall.

She had been moving half out of instinct, not paying much attention to the route she was taking. Her feet, thankfully, seemed to know where to go though and, before she could think about it, her hand was closing around the cool metal of her door knob.

Smiling, she twisted it, thinking about the scalding hot bath she could run. Perhaps it was time to break out the very lovely bath salts Henry had given her last Mother's Day. And light a few candles. Oooh, and her most favourite pyjamas were just this morning freshly laundered and sitting atop her dresser. It was going to be a most relaxing evening indeed, she decided, feeling her spirits lift a little. Maybe, after she scrubbed herself raw, she could grab her tablet and flick through a few of the recent files Henry had managed to compile for her, too. After all, no evening for Helen Magnus could ever be all pleasure and no work.

As Helen stepped through the door, she could almost feel the warm water relaxing her muscles but, after not even two whole steps into her room, she could tell something was wrong.

She was not alone.

In half a second, she had her gun out, pointed into the darkness, finger poised on the trigger, waiting for another indicator of where her intruder was. She knew it could not be one of her team, they knew better than to ambush her in her private rooms and would at least have had the good sense to turn on the light if they had.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she scanned the room and, though she heard nothing, Helen knew, beyond a doubt, that there was something else in her room. Henry had once called it her 'spidey sense', laughing at how accurate she was. More than once, he and Ashley had made a game of hiding in her room with the hopes of catching her unawares.

They had never succeeded. And she didn't think Henry was now making another attempt at it.

Cursing herself for leaving the curtains closed and providing her with even less light, Helen reached over carefully for the light switch, flicking it on as her entire body tensed, prepared for attack.

"You took longer than I had anticipated."

"Nikola?"

She stared at him in disbelief but did not drop the gun still trained on him.

"I would have brought wine if I had known I would have to wait so long."

"What are you doing in my room?"

He gave her an almost serious look, not a smirk to be seen and Helen frowned. She watched as he pushed off the wall he'd been leaning against, unconsciously straightening his already immaculate suit.

"We need to talk," he said, tucking one hand into his pocket. "It wasn't safe back there."

Shaking her head, Helen let the arm holding her weapon drop back to her side.

"How did you even get in here?"

At that, he did smirk. But Helen ignored him as she moved further into her room, carefully closing the door behind her before placing her gun on the table by her hip.

"The passage beneath the East Wing," he murmured.

At that, Helen couldn't help but smile. Part of her wanted answers and she had half a mind to demand them then and there but the stronger and far more tired part of her wanted to pretend like Nikola was no where to be seen and go about her standard bedtime routine.

"I... I am sorry about today, Helen."

He sounded almost timid enough to be sincere.

"It's why I came, I wanted to talk."

She almost scoffed at that. Now he really was making an attempt at being sincere. She watched him in silence as his face creased into a frown and he took another stilted step towards her.

"Things... did not happen how I had planned," he admitted.

The silence fell between them thick and fast, almost stifling in the totality of it. It seemed to Helen that Nikola was even holding his breath as he waited for her to say something, anything. Helen licked her lips, trying her best to steady herself.

"Is that all?"

"No."

She was surprised at his tone, at the sheer lack of exuberance. There was still a passion there but... it was hidden, almost.

"Then what?"

He opened his mouth once, twice, then sighed heavily, cocking a hip and running a hand through his hair.

"It's just."

He glanced to the ceiling.

"Helen."

Helen turned away from him, the ache between her shoulder blades returning with a vengeance. Her bath was now forgotten, discarded as a bad fantasy she'd never get to live out and all she wanted was peace. To not have to look at Nikola and think about what he'd done.

"Go back to SCIU, Nikola."

She slipped out of her shoes, flexing her toes against the plush rug beneath her feet before rolling one ankle and then the other, all the while listening to hear Nikola leave through the tiny passage she thought she'd closed up. Well, closed from the outside, that is. It was her escape tunnel, after all.

"Don't I even get a thank you?"

His arrogant tone was back but she didn't miss the waver in his voice. It was small and something she hadn't heard since 1923, at least, back when he still kissed the tips of her fingers every time the parted.

"Thank you, Nikola," she said dutifully. It was as hollow as his apology for breaking in but she wasn't sure he'd mind.

"You still don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?"

He sighed again but she refused to rise to the bait. She turned slowly, making sure her gaze rested on the door to her ensuite, rather than on the peculiar expression on his face. She couldn't speak with him now, no matter what he'd tried to do to make up for his behaviour. She was too angry, too upset with him. Whatever shred of a friendship they had left, she refused to destroy.

"Helen."

He drew out her name as she walked past him though, to his credit, he did not reach for her. In some ways, it surprised her that he didn't. Since his re-emergence into her life, he'd become far more physical with her than ever before. He used to wait for her to say yes, wait for her to lean towards him that little bit closer before his hand wandered up her side to let his thumb rest against the underside of her breast.

Now he would step towards her before she could think on it one way or the other.

"Not now, Nikola. Not tonight," she said.

"But you don't understand," he argued.

Helen turned back to face him, not sure if she could keep her eyes open much longer. She knew she ought to be on her toes with Nikola in the room, after all he was 'the enemy', in a manner of speaking.

"I understand enough," she replied. There was an edge to her tone she hadn't intended to be there and she saw a flash of something in his eyes though it disappeared quickly.

He took a step towards her, closing just enough distance that part of Helen argued it was not enough.

"This is not how I wanted it all to come out."

His lips quirked into a smile and he ran a hand through his hair once more.

"Honestly."

He held both hands out to her, palms up and Helen realised he was nervous.

"Do we have to do this now, Nikola?"

"After I broke into your room?"

She huffed a small laugh and closed her eyes, nodding and giving him the point.

"We can move to a more comfortable location," he offered, his voice dripping with suggestion.

"Just say your piece, Niko," she countered though there was no venom in her tone.

He hesitated for a moment, his tongue stealing out to wet his lips. His eyes raked over her body quickly, his appraisal nothing but cursory. For once, she couldn't feel him undressing her with his eyes.

"You're tired," he finally said, his voice little more than a whisper.

"It's been a long day."

"That's my fault."

He smiled uncomfortably at her.

"I am sorry. I should have said that before."

"It's fine, Nikola," she said, waving a hand in his direction. "You don't have to keep apologising."

"But I do."

He said it urgently, taking a hurried step towards her.

"I do, Helen. I… You shouldn't have had to find out they way you did. It wasn't my intention."

"Look, Nikola, I'm exhausted. Today has not been what I could call pleasant and while I appreciate what you're trying to say, it is far too la-."

"It was for you," he blurted out. "I wanted… I saw the way things were spiralling out of control, the way they were coming after you and the Sanctuary. I knew it wouldn't be long until they considered abnormals to be a threat and I wanted to help. To help you.

"When they came to me I did say no to start with, I mean, my first instinct was to rat them out to you but when they came back to me…"

"You caved for a jet," she finished, unable to help the note of displeasure in her voice.

"Of course not," he scoffed. "I just… I thought this was my best bet, Helen. Honestly, who in their right mind would give _me_ free reign over a multi-million dollar facility with minimal supervision, let alone over abnormals who need specialised medical and scientific training which, God knows, I do not have."

"You could have jus-"

"Called. Yes. I know. And maybe I should have but, at the time, I didn't want to risk it. It was my in."

"Nikola, just… Just stop it," she bit back. "I don't care. I don't want to know."

"You have to understand."

He crossed what distance remained between them, one of his hands hovering around her elbow before he grew confident and slipped his fingers into her hand.

"Helen. I had a plan."

"You always have a plan, Nikola," she scoffed, tugging her hand free. "Only this one I didn't get to foil."

He chuckled and followed her as she moved away from him.

"I wanted to be your lackey," he confessed, sounding too enthusiastic. "Well, not quite but you understand. I was to be your man on the inside."

"The man on the inside I didn't know I had or even wanted?" she snapped.

He sucked in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"You shouldn't presume to know what I want from you, Nikola."


	2. Unwelcome

She wanted nothing more than to grab her gun and empty a clip into him at that moment. He had always been underhanded and often more than a little misinformed but this was taking it to a new level. He had willingly jumped into bed with her enemy. Sure, she hadn't disclosed to him the full extent of her tensions with the government but, even without knowing precisely how difficult things were for her at the time, his common sense should have told him to steer clear of SCIU and their Abnormal experiments. After all, he was just as much a curiosity to them as the creatures they kept locked up.

"Well it's not as if you'd ever tell me," he muttered under his breath, giving her a dark look.

"Oh come off it," she growled in reply. "You chose to fly in the face of reason because of your obsession with money."

"I already explained though," he implored, stepping towards her but Helen waved him off. The hurt in his eyes wasn't easy to dismiss but somehow, she managed, drawing instead on her anger.

"Just get out, Nikola," she spat. "Just get out and… and… and leave me the hell alone."

He stared at her as silence fell, expression unreadable and, for a moment, Helen wanted to take back her harsh words. Her anger, while entirely justified, to her mind, perhaps had gotten the better of her. Between the long and tiring day and the surprise of finding him in her private quarters, she was, unfortunately frazzled.

But, before she could present to him her internal rationalisations, Nikola's eyes narrowed and his entire demeanour changed.

"Fine," he hissed. "Fine. I'm out. Consider me gone, Helen. You won't have to _deal_ with me again."

"Nikola…"

"No. No, Helen. You want me out, then fine. I'll leave. Jump back on my private jet and leave you to suffer at the hands of the government. Heaven forbid you accept even a mote of help."

"I didn't ask for your help," she tried, a flutter of fear starting deep in her belly.

"Perhaps because you are incapable of such a thing," he snarled. "You wouldn't ask me for help if your life depended on it."

"Perhaps if you were a little more reliable," she retorted hotly. "Honestly, Nikola. Do you really expect me to believe all this… this… this _bullshit_ about wanting to help? When, in the very long history of your life, have you willingly done something for someone else without wanting reward?"

"You mean, like, my entire career?" he thundered in response but she merely scoffed. "Remember that time when I wanted to give the world free energy? When I gave _everything_ I didn't have to try and give back to the cretins who scorned me as little more than a mad man?"

"Oh please, give up the jilted, lonely man speech, please," she deadpanned, crossing her arms. "You were fooled. Plain and simple. You were fooled by callous and thieving men, granted, but so much of your life is the fault of no one but yourself."

"And you."

"Pardon?"

"And you. Do you know how many times I gave up projects, places, people, for you?"

"You're a terrible martyr, Tesla."

"Don't start with that Tesla crap now," he said warningly. "And I'm fairly sure this is the definition of a pot calling the kettle black. I gave up half my life for you and your crusade, Helen. And you know it."

"I know you stormed about the place, destroyed whatever took your fancy and caused more trouble than I ever thought imaginable. You were, no, _are_ no better than a petulant child in want of attention. You never did cope with playing second fiddle."

He scoffed angrily at her, turning away, hands on hips. Helen was fuming, drawn into the argument she hadn't intended on having. Raising a hand to her temple, Helen tried to rub away her newly found headache.

"Must you do this now, Nikola?" she asked wearily. "I don't know if I can go another round with you tonight."

"I didn't come here to fight," he muttered, still not facing her. "That bit is all on you."

She sighed.

"Enough, Nikola. Go home. Get on your jet and perhaps call me next time you feel the overwhelming urge to pick a fight."

"But you're missing the point," he burst out, spinning around with inhuman speed. "I'm not here to fight you, Helen. I…"

"You wanted me to pat you on the back and give thanks for your betrayal," she growled, unable to keep her tone even remotely civil.

"I wanted to explain," he implored. "You started the fighting, Helen. This wasn't what I wanted. You were supposed to… to… to understand."

"I don't," she said simply, crossing her arms. "And I don't think I ever will. So leave, Nikola."

"Not until you hear me out," he replied, eyes wide. "Just listen."

"I've heard enough, thank you all the same."

"You are the most stubborn woman I've ever had the misfortune of coming across," he said mockingly and though she could hear what was supposed to be an undercurrent of humour, Helen couldn't help but bristle at his words. Whether he saw her reaction or simply guessed as to how she'd respond, Helen wasn't sure but he was all of a sudden in front of her, taking her hands in his. She tried to jerk away but it was a futile effort, his grip on her wrists firm.

"I did this for you," he said slowly, making sure she heard every word. "I did all this for you. Because you need an ally within their ranks. Can you imagine who they'd have put in charge of SCIU if I hadn't said yes? They expected you to find out about me, they wanted you to hate me because of it. Can't you see that you're just playing straight into their hands with this?"

She didn't reply, waiting patiently for him to release her wrists. So that she could punch him. Not that she let on such a detail.

"Helen, I may… My actions may not have been the clearest, I'll grant you that but you can't doubt my intentions," he continued softly, his grip loosening. "Have I ever given you reason to believe that I wanted anything but the best for you?"

"This isn't about me," she argued. "This is about you doing whatever you want without a thought to the consequences."

"I swear to you, Helen, that I am doing this for the right reasons. I am doing this for you."

If she hadn't been so close she would have missed the sincerity in his gaze that made her heart throb painfully. She could tell, in that moment, that he truly thought what he was doing was for the best. There was no malicious intent behind it, just a fervent desire to be helpful, something which surprised her. Nikola was not usually outright dastardly in his plans, often preferring a more subtle method of subterfuge to get what he wanted but this? It was a complete about face.

"Oh Niko," she said with a heavy sigh. "You really are an idiot." He blinked at her words but did not step back. "A genius, granted, but an idiot too."

At that he smiled.

"But you love me for it," he teased. She paused a moment, pretending to think about it before giving him a noncommittal shrug.

"You most certainly have better qualities," she allowed. "Even your peace ray seemed to have more logic behind it than this."

His eyes lit up at his preferred term for his very final public project and his grin grew despite what he could have very easily decided was an insult.

"I can do more for you on the inside, Helen," he tried, eyes still alight with an excitement that set Helen on edge.

"Next time you have a bright idea, run it by me first," she replied, only half joking.

"I'll think about it."

"Nikola…"

"In the meantime…" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, a salacious grin creeping onto his face. "We are in your boudoir. Alone. Late at night. But not too late."

"Of course, how could I have not realised," she said in mock surprise. "You must be exhausted, Nikki. Let me take you to a guest room where you can rest before jumping back onto that private plane of yours. Heaven knows, today must have been taxing on your poor nerves."

"Oh har har," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Can't we just share?"

"Can't you just go home now?" she countered.

"I promise I won't hog the covers."

"Go home, Nikki," she said, slipping her hands free of his grip to pat his chest. "It's been a long day."

She pushed past him gently, heading for the end of her bed but he caught her hand in his once more, forcing her to turn back to him.

"I swore to myself that I wouldn't leave here until you had come to completely understand why I did what I did," he said, that gleam still in his eye. "And can you honestly tell me that I have succeeded in my mission?"

She sighed heavily and made a face.

"Nikola."

"Can you?" he pushed. "Be honest with me, Helen."

"For the sake of this argument and a good nights sleep, yes," she said firmly. He pursed his lips and stepped closer to her, his expression becoming strangely sombre.

"I need you to understand, Helen," he said again. "I don't want you to be angry at me anymore. I did that for more decades than I care to remember and it was not fun."

She sighed once more but he ignored her.

"I told myself a very long time ago that I wouldn't let you become furious with me again."


	3. Petulant

At that, she couldn't help but smile.

"I'm not furious, Nikola. Just tired. It's been a long and somewhat surprising day," she told him, raising a hand to his shoulder, giving him a friendly squeeze. "When I walked into SCIU, you were genuinely the last person I expected to see. Well, behind the desk, that is."

"I knew it was you the moment Wolf Boy started his hack job," Nikola replied, stepping closer so that she almost felt the need to step back. He had always made a bad habit out of being just that bit too close, always invading on her personal space. Well, when the mood took him, anyway. There were times when he sat too close out of habit, she assumed, but for the most part, it was a deliberate action, she was sure of it.

"Yes, well. Maybe if we had known who was in charge of the facility, Henry would have known to be a little more careful," she allowed. "After all, not most facility directors are as adept when it comes to security."

"I'm shocked, was that a compliment?" he asked with a little gasp.

"And a thank you," she teased. "For the information on the tablet. Henry's been working on it since we got back."

"Twas my pleasure, darling," he half cooed, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his lips. Helen couldn't help but smile as his lips brushed against her knuckles, which was, perhaps, the reason she didn't insist on pulling free of his when he lowered it. And nor did she complain as he threaded their fingers together.

It was strange, considering she still didn't entirely trust his motives, but Helen found herself more and more at ease in Nikola's presence. Her 113 years had given her time to think in spades which had led to some fairly frightening self reflection. Mostly around the things which she regretted.

She had been so alone for so long, both before and after her 'holiday' but Nikola was still her constant. No matter when, no matter how, no matter why, he was there for her. Always. The number of times her younger self had called on him was staggering to think back over, especially considering it was something she had actively railed against doing. Her stubbornness around Nikola was something she could now put down to the attraction she had been trying to fight in her youth. Of course, once they slept together, a large part of that disappeared but even now, when she knew she shouldn't trust him, she couldn't help but feel drawn to him. Perhaps it was a side effect of a friendship lasting over two centuries or a remnant from her earlier attraction to him. Not that it mattered.

Not now, anyway.

She would have to rely on him sooner rather than later for more than she had ever asked of him in the past. Her life could very well rest in her hands one day and so, logical or otherwise, she didn't fight the overwhelming sense of trust she felt whenever they were this close.

She could trust him and she would have to.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Nikola," she finally said, giving him a warm smile.

If he was taken aback by the admission, he didn't show it.

"I would do anything for you," he whispered almost reverently. "Anything."

"Nikola."

"No, Helen. I mean it. I… I may not always get it right but I'd like to think, at the very least, I have my heart in the right place."

She bit her lip, ready to pull away.

"I know you won't believe me, Helen. But I love you."

The last bit rolled off his tongue almost too quickly for her to distinguish the words, as if he were nervous as to how she would receive them.

She swallowed, closed her eyes and gently withdrew her hand from his. She didn't dare look at him for the moment, certain that the hurt in his eyes would be her undoing.

After a moment, she breathed out slowly and went to turn but, before she knew what was happening, his lips were against hers, stealing her breath with the tenderness of his touch. Her eyes flew open, her hands automatically coming to rest on his shoulders though she wasn't entirely sure why she didn't push him away.

Instead, she just stood there, receiving the kiss with a sense of detached involvement.

When he finally pulled away, she caught a glimpse of something a little terrifying in his eyes but it was gone too quickly for her to really question it.

"Sorry," he muttered, stepping back, apparently certain he'd stepped over a line. Helen was half tempted to follow him, beyond all reason. Despite the briefness of it, something within her was stirred by his kiss, leaving her palms tingling.

"Don't be," she breathed, unable to make her voice come out properly. Already in her mind she was justifying the path of action before them, explaining to herself why she should grab Nikola by the shirt and pull him closer until he got the message and pressed her into the thick quilt of her bed. It was foolish, all things considered but, when he was that close to her, she had trouble thinking straight. She always had.

"No, I shouldn't have done that," he said, his tone growing firmer. He cleared his throat and flashed her a sheepish grin. "I like this outfit and I don't think the bloody, bullet-ridden look will work well for me with these colours."

His attempt at humour sparked a strange sense of anger within her and she frowned, giving him a dark look.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Belittle… this. Us. I'm not going to shoot you, Nikola."

"Forgive me for relying on precedent."

"Nikola, please."

"No, Helen. It's fine. I… I should go now."

He turned to leave, not meeting Helen's eye.

"Who said you need to leave?" she threw out, the words leaping from her mouth before she could censure herself or even find a way to make them sound less desperate.

He chuckled but didn't turn back towards her, apparently not believing her words. Not that she could blame him, really.

"Nikola, stop," she tried.

"I'll call you in a few days," he replied, voice bland and lifeless.

"You said you didn't want me to be angry with you."

At that, he stopped.

"If you walk out that door, I can't promise I'll take your call."

Helen felt childish in the extreme but the fact that Nikola hadn't left yet made it far less humiliating. She waited for him to turn, half holding her breath in anticipation. But, apparently he was unwilling to play ball.

"Nikola, face me," she half ordered, wincing at her tone. She didn't want to be so harsh with him but, once more, he was acting like a child. His petulance was something she'd had to deal with many times over but now it felt like more trying than ever. For no discernible reason, tonight felt different.

He turned slowly, obeying her command very much against his will, still, refusing to meet her eye. In fact, he was staring resolutely over her shoulder.

"Oh for the love of… Nikola, look at me," she huffed, sick of his games.

He switched his gaze to her chest, as if trying to frighten her away with a blatant, if not passive sexual advance. Helen was not going to be that easily deterred.

She crossed her arms in challenge, pleased to see a glimmer of humour in his eyes. So what if he knew she was goading him? So long as it got _something_ from him, she would be satisfied.

"Why are you acting like this?" she asked.

"Acting like what?"

"Nikola Tesla…"

"Helen Magnus…."

She sighed, rolling her eyes before crossing the distance between them.

"You are infuriating," she growled, taking his face in her hands and kissing him soundly. At the very least, she knew she had succeeded in capturing his attention.

* * *

**So, normally, I wait until I get at least one review before I post another chapter of something I'm still in the process of writing but something tells me that last chapter didn't go down that well. Which makes me think you guys aren't too into the route I've chosen for this one. Could I get a show of hands if that's the case? Because I'm more than happy to scrap this and start on a different take if that's the general feeling :) I aim to please, just let me know!**

**xx**


	4. Diary

For a moment, Nikola flailed rather helplessly, half pulling away whilst still pressing his body towards hers. It would have been endearing if she hadn't been rather focused on getting him to act in a more appropriate manner. Like kissing her back. She shifted her weight forwards, leaning into him until he was forced to grab her by the waist in an attempt to steady her. The new contact seemed to have a strange effect on him and suddenly he seemed more grounded and, much to her glee, he was finally kissing her back. And properly kissing her too.

His lips moved against hers with a passion that was unique to him, a kind of focus and dedication that he put into only his most important projects. There was an art to the way he kissed her, like he was discovering all he could, finding what made her gasp against his lip or sag into his arms. It made her blind to anything but him.

When, finally, she pulled away to gasp down a brief lungful of air, she was surprised at how dark his expression was. But what didn't surprise her was the way he dove for her again, pulling her back to him with a low growl that shot straight through her. When their lips met again, there was a new level of desperation to their kiss, touching something deep inside of her.

Helen didn't quite understand what they were doing, let alone why but, after putting so much time and effort into avoiding this very position with this very man, she easily forgot why she ought to have been mad at him or why she should have just pushed him away and let him leave as he had intended. Instead, wrapped her arms around his neck, holding her body as close to his as she could manage. And Nikola was no better. He was holding her so tightly that her ribs began to protest long before her mind ever would.

Running her hands through his hair, Helen arched her back, scraping her nails against his scalp while Nikola muttered something incomprehensible against her lips. One of his hands came up to tangle in her hair as the other, rather tentatively slipped down to the curve of her hip, fingers tracing strange patterns across her flesh before fisting in the fabric of her skirt.

At the same moment the hand in her hair pulled her lips impossibly closer to his, his other hand began to slowly draw the fabric of her skirt up her leg. She smiled against his lips, understand he was providing her with a distraction but, in reality, she needed none.

Carefully, she prised herself from his grip, chuckling as he tried to follow for a brief moment. She watched as he took her change as rejection, stepping back from her too quickly, hands dropping in an instant but, this time, she didn't let him get too far, capturing one of his hands in hers.

Slowly, Helen stepped back towards him, using her free hand to gather her hair over one shoulder.

"The zipper," she whispered, pleased when he caught on quickly. Carefully, he raised the hand not entwined with hers to her back, two fingertips resting just below the zip of her dress. He drew his hand down her back slowly, the metal tab of the zipper following his fingers as if by some magnetic pull. In fact, it took her a second to realise that that was exactly what it was. She laughed softly as he continued, smirking as he went.

Just as Helen felt a cool breeze against the exposed skin of her back, Nikola took his hand back from hers, slipping it around until his warm palm rested against the small of her back, pressing her closer to him.

Taking his lips in yet another heated kiss, Helen wrapped an arm around his neck, the other moving to the top most button of his shirt, sending a rather clear signal. In a heartbeat, he lent back a fraction, allowing her hands more room to move. With a rapidly disappearing dexterity, Helen used both hands to first undo his waist coat and then dress shirt. She almost moan her frustrations aloud as her questing fingers came into contact with not bare skin but an undershirt, blocking her path.

With a low growl, she pushed Nikola away, giving him a mock glare before tugging at the many layers of clothing now hanging open. He shrugged out of his jacket, waistcoat and shirt more quickly than she had anticipate, pausing only to tear at the buttoned cuffs that presented a dilemma. While he was occupied, Helen slipped her dress down her shoulders, shimmying the grey material over her hips and letting it pool around her ankles.

"Hey," Nikola protested with a frown. "That was my job."

"Well, you took too long," she replied simply, stepping back to him and reaching for the hem of the undershirt he still wore. Hastily, she pulled the fabric up, tugging until he raised his arms and allowed her to toss the white cotton aside. He was just beginning to smirk when her hands then descended on his pants, unbuckling his belt and releasing his fly with a tiny grin of her own. He shuddered as her fingers brushed across the front of his boxers but made no verbal process as she pushed his pants from his slim hips. Thankfully, he helped her, kicking off his shoes hastily and toeing the ever growing bundle of clothes away.

"Finally," Helen breathed, reaching for Nikola once more. He returned to her embrace eagerly, leaning in to kiss her with renewed fever while his hands went to the bare skin of her waist. She was half surprised when he didn't attack the rather small scraps of cotton and lace that went for underwear though, in reality, she knew she shouldn't have expected anything more. He was, despite the fact that they were both almost naked and making out in the middle of her bedroom, a rather timid lover when the mood took him.

Not that he didn't have a rather obtrusive and overt side to him, more that, at the moment, he didn't want to push his luck. She'd seen it before though not for a great many years. It was refreshing and nostalgic all at once.

"Nikola," she breathed, bringing her lips to that spot beneath his ear that was always so sensitive. "I'm not going to walk out of here."

He almost answered, a tiny noise slipping through his lips before he muffled any further response by pressing his lips to Helen's neck, placing hot, open mouthed kisses down it and across her shoulder. When he came to the light grey strap of her bra, he snagged the elastic between his teeth, dragging it down her arm until he pulled away quickly, leaving it to snap back against her skin, albeit further down her arm.

He pulled back and Helen watched as the playful grin spread across his features, prompting his hands to sweep lower across the swell of her hips.

"You're awfully cheeky for a man who seems to want to wear socks to bed," she teased, her voice husky with desire.

He blinked and frowned at her before casting a quick look at his feet, apparently surprised to find that he had indeed failed to remove the items in question. Helen took the opportunity his distraction provided and stepped back, slipping from his grasp and instead heading towards her bed. She was just about to pull back the covers when, out of nowhere, a newly de-socked vampire half tackled her to the bed, his arms tight around her waist.

Helen squeaked rather indignantly at the treatment but, before she could protest further, Nikola had spun her onto her back and begun kissing her once more. Only this time it was different. With his weight atop her, his bare chest pressing against so much more of her own flesh, everything about his kiss felt more pointed. It wasn't something he was doing, in fact, his enthusiasm seemed just as heavy as when they had started kissing. Nikola rarely pushed her outright for sex, unlike so many of the men she had known. His suggestive comments and flirty banter was all for show. Well, his goal often truly did seem to be to seduce her but she could count on one hand the number of times Nikola had initiated their encounters. From time to time she had been tempted to ask what made him so reluctant to be the one to start it all considering his flirty behaviour, but she'd yet to find the courage.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down as he nipped at her lips.

"You have about thirty seconds until we reach the point of no return," he whispered, his breath mingling with hers. "Speak now or…"

"Forever hold my peace?" she offered.

"Hey, I didn't say it," he teased, kissing the corner of her mouth. "But I like your style of thinking."

She chuckled, running a hand down his bare back, feeling the ridges of his spine with her fingertips while Nikola's mouth shifted to pay more attention to her neck. He really was an exceptionally good kisser, she realised dreamily, a foolish little smile playing on her lips.

With her free hand anchoring his mouth in place, Helen let her other hand become more bold, smoothing over his pale skin before slipping between them to play with the waistband of his boxers. He groaned against her neck as she did so, pulling back so that he could look her in the eye.

"Point of no return," he said as a warning, breathing heavily.

In reply, she slipped her hand into the front of his boxers, enjoy the way his eyes widened substantially at the gesture.

With renewed enthusiasm, his lips returned to her collar bone, one hand bracing him above her as the other grabbed her hip, toying with the edge of her underwear in retaliation. Grinning, Helen used both hands to force his boxers over his hips, biting her lip as he proceeded to shimmy his hips in an attempt to help. The way his chest brushed against hers as he moved sent her half delirious with pleasure, wiping away any lingering doubts as to why she was letting him do this.

Kicking aside the last piece of clothing, Nikola began to shift down her body, pressing chaste little kisses across her chest and down to her belly as he went. The hand on her hip pressed her into the mattress in an attempt to hold her still while the other smoothed down over her side, sending near electric tingles of pleasure through her body. She could feel his cock hard against her leg and smiled, the vain streak in her pleased that she could still elicit such a response from him.

After all, it had been years since he'd seen her naked and her body had changed considerably since then. Between childbirth and an extra 113 years worth of fights, she was no nubile young thing anymore. She bore her scars proudly and had scorned more than one lover for their apparent displeasure at the state of her body but it did not mean she did not wish for Nikola's approval, as tainted as it may have been.

And, as his lips continued to caress her form, she was fairly sure she had her answer. In fact, it almost seemed as if he was taking time to kiss each scar her came across. The implications of his actions brought tears to her eyes which Helen hastily wiped away. She wasn't sure if he noticed but, even if he did, it didn't stop his ministrations. As he made his way towards her belly button, he slowed, bring the hand on her side further across her rib cage, fingers moving with excruciating patience that had Helen arching her back just a little.

"This one," he murmured, running the tip of one finger across the jagged scar that ran from beneath her bra down onto the pale of her stomach. "It's deep. How did you do it?"

"Made an enemy of the wrong abnormal," she said with a shrug.

"Which one?"

"It was in Peru," she replied, hoping he would leave the issue be. Discussing with him her encounter with a basilisk was not really on the cards at that point in time. In fact, she was rather hoping he would instead continue with the promising line of kisses across her torso.

"1901?" he asked, eyebrows rising.

Sighing, Helen rolled her eyes.

"Does it really matter now?"

His lips quirked into a smile and he chuckled.

"These," he said, running a finger across the scar again, "are like a diary to me. And it seems I have a bit to catch up on."

"Longer than you'd think," she murmured in reply, reaching down to brush her fingers through his hair. At that he narrowed his eyes.

"I knew there was something you weren't telling me."

"It can wait until later."

"No it can't, I want to know."

"It's waited 113 years, Nikola. An evening does not matter in the scheme of things."

His eyes again widened and she thought she would again have to direct him back to the activity she was actively trying to engage him in but, by some small miracle, he did not push the issue, instead ducking his head once more.

This time he began nipping at her stomach, shocking her just enough that the first caused her to suck in a deep breath. She could feel the skin of his face stretched in a grin against her belly but, as the hand that had been occupied with her scar moved up to cup her breast through the lace of her bra, forgot to care. t

He ran a thumb across her nipple just as his mouth moved further south, his lips kissing the fabric of her panties gently once, twice, and then a third time further down. Biting her lip, Helen moaned deeply and spread her legs further, giving him more space to move. Then he surprised her, drawing his hands quickly down across her belly, both coming to rest on her hips for a moment as he sat up a little. Just as she felt the beginnings of frustration stir within her, his hands slipped beneath her hips to the swell of her arse, grasping tightly and lifting her slightly.

* * *

**So, uh, wow? Way to totally freak me out, guys... Apparently there are more people reading than I ever anticipated. Not that I'm complaining! Thank you profusely for the feedback, I know you guys are busy with that horrible thing called real life but I really do appreciate it :) Anyway, it seems I ought to continue however, Loreinleaf, you raise a good point that I shall try to work into the last bits of this :)**

**Thank you all, again. Totally brightened my morning!**

**xx**


	5. Resisting

"Nikola," she huffed. "Enough teasing."

"Not quite," he murmured, eyes jumping all over her body as if he was trying to commit any changes in her body to memory. Helen's head rolled back and she groaned while his long fingers made their way under the elastic of her underwear, digging instead into the pliant flesh of her arse.

She just managed to open her eyes up long enough to glare at him before he was leaning forwards to kiss her lips fleetingly. She tried to follow him but, using his grip on her, he pulled her crotch up to his instead, making her gasp, arch her back, and flop back to the mattress.

She watched as Nikola sat back, relinquishing his grip on her to instead trace the lace trim around the front of her panties. The feeling of his long fingers dancing about so close to where she so wanted them was almost enough to force her to take back control but, as if sensing her designs, one of Nikola's hands shifted, two fingers slipping beneath the gusset of her panties.

"Ni-Nikola!" she gasped in surprise, both hands fisting in the rich coverlet beneath them. He didn't grin or even smirk at her, his expression instead deadly serious as he studied her reaction to his touch. Before she had a chance to adjust to what he was doing, the backs of two fingers brushed gently against her soft curls, dragging up higher until one knuckle just barely touch her clit. Her reaction, while embarrassing, was, to her mind, completely justified and so she didn't dwell too much on the long, low keening noise that escaped her lips.

Her hips moved slowly and deliberately up towards his hand, only to be denied as he pulled away. Instead, his hands were on either side of her legs, urging them together and up. She complied easily, familiar at least with this manoeuvre. It was one he'd encouraged her to perform a few times before and she was always rewarded rather handsomely for it.

When he was certain her legs were pressed tightly together, his fingers wrapped around the elastic on either side of her hips, tugging slowly until it began to rise up the length of her legs. Once he reached her knees, soft, sultry kisses began against the backs of her legs and she felt him shifting to get a better angle. Briefly she wished she'd worn slightly more alluring undergarments than the practical grey mostly cotton with only a bit of lace concoction he was currently divesting her of but, when his lips kissed the back of knee, she forgot about almost everything but how glorious it was to once again have Nikola in her bed. Schemes aside.

Finally he flicked her underwear off of her feet, tossing it aside as his hands closed around her ankles. Slowly, he peeled her legs apart, lowering them on either side of his own body before running his hand down to the outside of her thighs. Again, he leaned forward to kiss her gently before pulling back, this time letting his hands splay across her rib cage.

Helen expected him to take his time once more, to draw it out until she was again moaning and arching and shivering against him but, with little warning, he leaned down over her chest, teeth closing around one nipple through the fabric of her bra in a startling display of accuracy.

She was tempted to curse as she grabbed a fistful of his hair, holding him in place but, when his free hand began working its way beneath her. Understanding his aim, she shifted, allowing him more space to work. It took her a moment to wonder why he wasn't using his metallic manipulation to free her from her bra and, it seemed, the same thought occurred to him because, in less than a second, she felt the pressure around her ribs dissipate. The lips attacking her nipple disappeared for a moment, dragging with them her bra, allowing him to toss it to the floor before his lips once more closed around her pebbled flesh, this time unleashing a new wave of sensation in her.

She tried her best to form words, to ask him to speed things up a little but, not until he finally pulled away did she remember what words actually were.

Not that it mattered. Nikola, it seemed, had a plan that he would not be deterred from. His lips sought out hers again, his chest pressing against hers as his erection rested against her thigh. She wanted nothing more than for him to touch her properly and, in all their times together, she knew of only one sure-fire way to prompt him thusly.

With her free hand, she reached between them, taking his length in her hand. He stiffened against her, moaning into their kiss as his hips rocked forwards into her hand.

"Helen," he muttered. "Careful."

She ignored him, tightening her grip as she began to stroke him slowly, dragging her fingers up and down his length as his breathing grew heavier. With a groan, he pressed his lips once more to her neck, hands trembling as they began to roam her body but still not venturing anywhere remotely exciting. Not that his touch didn't send tendrils of fire sprinting through her veins but his hands were surprisingly polite considering she was lying naked beneath him, panting into his ear with her hand wrapped around his erection. Of all the times for him to keep his hands to himself, this would not have been her choice.

Finally, one hand came to rest just beneath her breast while the other gingerly held her hip but neither ventured further. Only when she sped up her hand did she garner any further action from him. He pulled back, lips trembling, giving him such a boyish look it nearly broke her heart. For all she'd forced herself to not think about exactly what they were doing or why she'd allowed herself to get to this point once more, looking at him like that would be her undoing.

For him, this was more than just a quick physical release. He was rather excellent at pretending otherwise but no longer could Helen deny what his worship of her body meant. This meant something more to him. And Helen wasn't sure she could allow it to mean more to her. After all, there was so much he didn't know about her. Of all the people in her life, he probably knew her the best, yes, but there was a gap in his knowledge. A sizeable and noticeable gap that spoke volumes about who she was and who she had been.

"Nikola," she started, prepared to beg off.

"Please," he asked softly. "Just… For now?"

She closed her eyes, a single traitorous tear leaking down her cheek but Nikola kissed it away before it could get too far, his hands coming up to cradle her cheeks before he kissed her full on the lips once more.

She half expected him to try and ply her with compliments and protestations of love but, surprisingly, he merely continued kissing her. If it wasn't for the press of his naked skin against hers, she would have been able to pretend that there was nothing lying beneath the surface of the kiss, that she didn't desperately want to pull him closer just as much as she wanted to push him away.

There was no logic behind what she was doing, it was fuelled entirely by her baser urges. Well, at least partly. She couldn't deny the way her mind wanted him, too. He was her closest friend, her oldest friend, her first friend. And, in her worst, loneliest moments, the man she wondered if she could allow to mean more to her. There were times when she'd teetered on the precipice of something more but, even in the darkest days of her 113 years, she'd managed to resist going to him. Perhaps it was from some twisted sense of obligation to history, or maybe simply because she was too stubborn but, on the few occasions she'd allowed herself to think about the possibility of letting her situation with Nikola evolving into something more, it had always been off her own back. Or, it was supposed to be. She was not a slave to her desires, or to desperation.

"Stop being distracted," Nikola murmured, pulling back to suck in a lungful of air. "Stop _thinking_, you silly woman."

And like that, her perspective seemed to magically change. He had that power, that ability to make her see things from perhaps a different angle, or even just with a layer of humour to it that she hadn't seen. His scoldings, as silly as they were brought her back to the present. He had, in that moment, reminded her of the fact that there was a very talent vampire between her legs, a man she could trust, no matter his scheming. It wasn't something she could ever tell Will or the others or even him, but deep down she knew he had been trying to do the right thing, however skewed his path of logic might be.

With a bright smile, Helen pulled back. Nikola seemed rather confused by her apparent change of heart but, when she rolled them until she could straddle his hips, his confusion seemed to melt away. Or, at least, he decided whatever it was wasn't worth his confusion.

"You're ruining my plans," he said with a grin as she settled herself. "You were supposed to be flat on your back for the next, oh, 6 hours or so."

"You planned this?" she asked, arching an eyebrow as she ran her hands down his torso, scratching lightly.

"I had many plans," Nikola amended, still grinning. "This was just one eventuality I planned for."

"Good thing I'm so adept at spoiling your plans."

He chuckled at that, biting his lip as he watched her. His eyes were almost greedy, the way they tried to drink her in, flitting about as if making sure he wouldn't miss a moment of what was happening. It was rather endearing, in a way and threatened to make Helen's heart melt. But no, she was stronger than that. Or, at least, was willing to put off all that for a later time.

Instead, she leaned down and kissed him soundly, revelling in the fact that she could.

While his mouth was otherwise occupied, she reached down behind her, fingers once more wrapping around the erection tapping at her arse. He moaned into the kiss, fingers tangling in her hair as if to hold her there forever.

With one last peck to his now pouting lips, she pulled back up onto her knees, shuffling backwards until she could tease herself with the head of his cock. She quickly found herself biting her lip to keep her whimpers contained however Nikola was much less contained. His groans were vocal and guttural and prompted her to shift back and sink down on him slowly, if only so she could watch as his eyes widened.

Helen let out a shaky breath as she moved, her body just barely adjusting to the intrusion of him. The sensation was glorious and, the way he was letting out tiny moans of pleasure more than gratifying.

When finally he was fully sheathed within her, Helen took a deep, calming breath. All she wanted was to start moving but, just feeling him so intimately joined with her body had her too close to the edge. She, like Nikola, had grand plans for the evening and coming in the next thirty seconds definitely did not fit within them.

Instead she looked down at him, watching the way his cheeks grew that little bit pinker and his eyes that little bit darker. There was no smug grin now, something that astounded her a little. Sex with Nikola had always been about playing and screwing about and riling each other up until they were incapable of words. It had always been fun and energetic but now it all felt different. Everything from before was still there, under the surface but in that moment, there was something tangible but indescribable hanging in the air between them. And he could see it too.

"Nikola," she breathed, reaching one hand down to cup his cheek. He smiled, leaning in to her touch as she ran a thumb across his bottom lip, gasping when he sucked the digit into the warmth of his mouth. She felt his blunt human teeth, still sharper than her own, scrape across the pad of her thumb, the tip of his tongue darting out to swirl an exotic pattern on the soft flesh. Carefully, she pulled her hand away, unable to keep from grinning as she slowly began to move her hips.

Her hands moved to his chest, helping her to brace herself as she picked up a steady rhythm.

"God, Helen," he groaned, hands fisting in the bed sheets either side of her knees. She frowned, half wondering why his hands weren't all over her like they ought to have been from the start but a larger, more dominant part of her brain was dedicated to the rise and fall of her hips, completely absorbed by the steadily increasing pace.

"Touch me," she grunted, bowing her head as she started moving faster. His eyes widened in surprise and shaky fingers came to rest on her thighs, barely touching her as if afraid.

She couldn't understand why he was so tentative, so hesitant to touch her. Before, she could vaguely rationalise is behaviour but now… Did he really think she was about to push him away without a second thought?

"Niko," she tried again, catching his gaze. "_Touch_ me. Please. I'm not… not going anywhere." She pushed past the waver in her voice to reach up to cup his cheek once more, their lips meeting sloppily. He kissed her with a passion that belied his otherwise passive state and Helen felt the heat building within her rise a few notches. "Touch me," she whispered again, pulling back once more as she continued to ride him.

This time, thankfully, he complied, hands darting all over her body with teasingly fleeting touches that she suspected were designed to do her in. She captured one of his hands as it made to duck away from her breast, holding it against her chest with a meaningful glance down at him. He still seemed a little hesitant but, with the coaxing of her hand, he started to roll her nipple between his fingers, drawing a deep moan from her throat.

His other hand held her hips, his grip growing firmer as his own hips began to move beneath hers. The increased sensation made Helen shiver, her body threatening to slump forwards in pleasure but she was strong, focusing instead on her burning need and once more increasing the pace of her hips. They were moving almost frantically now, her hips slamming down to his before twisting back upwards and repeating the process.

Nikola too was moaning freely now, his eyes half closed in pleasure as he continued to thrust up into her. She could feel him throb deep inside her, his near pleasure fuelling her own until she was slamming down onto him with little thought to finesse, the noises coming from her throat more than a little obscene. Her body started to clench, sweat beading across her chest and back, slicking her hair to her forehead. Her lungs were burning, much like the muscles of her legs but she couldn't stop. All she wanted was to make the moment last forever, to prolong their pleasure until she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

As it was, Nikola took matters into his own hands, finishing her off before she could think to slow him down. The hand on her breast was now moving independently of her help, the other tracking up her lower thigh to the soft curls at the apex of her legs. His touch was like fire, sizzling across her skin as he plucked her nipple with the same precision that had the pad of his thumb pressed to the little bundle of nerves between her thighs that lay begging for attention.

And that was it. She was Gone. Whether she was screaming or moaning or calling out his name, she didn't know but nor did she care. All that mattered was the rhythmic clenching of her own internal muscles and the way Nikola's hands didn't stop. He was a magician, she managed to realise as her body continued to thrum with pleasure. A wizard with fingers that should be against the law. She surprised herself with the coherence of her thoughts, especially as Nikola took the chance to sit up, one arm wrapping around her waist as he continued to thrust into her, his mouth locking onto hers and swallowing the dregs of her orgasmic shouts.

With protesting muscles, Helen slumped forwards, wrapping her arms around Nikolas as best she could. He managed to hold her rather well considering her sudden lack of muscle tone and, with a deft flick of his hips, had them rolled over, his body hovering over hers gently.

She smiled sleepily up at him, enjoying the sweet kisses he pressed across her jaw, occasionally slipping up to take her lips for a moment. But then, much to her surprise, his kisses started to move lower. And lower. And lower.

* * *

**SORRY! Uni is a bitch and I should have posted this ages ago but I didn't get the chance to write anything for it until this morning on the train! Anyway, even though I didn't managed to pump out a full chapter today, I feel bad about making people wait any longer!**

**I shall try to be better about the next chapter, promise.**

**xx**


	6. Reminiscing

His first stop seemed to be Helen's breasts, his lips caressing them before sucking each nipple harshly into his mouth, letting his teeth scrape across the pebbled flesh. She moaned softly at his ministrations, one hand somehow making its way into his hair. She wanted to praise him for his efforts, to let him know just how wonderful his worship of her felt but she couldn't find the words. All she could do instead was part her legs enough to let him lie between them and knot her fingers in his mussed hair.

She watched him through hooded eyes until he was resting between her legs, his cheek brushing against her inner thigh. For a few moments, she didn't know what he was doing, not entirely understanding why he'd given up on kissing every inch of her body. While she had every intention of reciprocating his gesture, she had quite enjoyed his attentions once she had recuperated a little.

And then his lips were on her once more. Only not on her leg. A shuddering gasp slipped through her lips at his first touch, her body bucking against his mouth against her own will. She was almost too sensitive, the feel of his lip and tongue and teeth teasing at her clit only just bearable.

Helen bit her lip, trying her best to breathe even as her body began seizing up once more in pleasure. With so effort, she reached down, tangling her hand in his hair as if it would keep her anchored. And she was doing relatively well until he proceeded to hum softly, two lovely long fingers slipping inside.

The moan that she let loose was entirely too loud but nothing could stop her from holding Nikola's head tightly to her. She could feel pleasure building within her faster and faster until her legs began to tremble. His fingers were moving inside her with almost perfect pressure, his tongue doing devilish things that made her head spin in the best way possible.

"God, Niko," she gasped out, unable to string together a more coherent phrase. Her back arched, her hips pressing against his magical, wonderful, stupendous mouth as her nails scraped across his scalp.

And then he stopped. He slipped from her iron grip as if it was nothing, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before crawling up her body, ignore her whiny protests.

"H-how come?" she huffed, body still shivering for being denied orgasm.

"How come I didn't let you…." he said with a grin, waving his hand nonchalantly. He chuckled, ducking his head to press a kiss to her lips. The feel of his chest against hers, his erection sliding against her centre were almost enough to undo her and certainly enough to make her incapable of speech.

Instead she tried her best to scowl at him, bucking her hips as her hands found purchase on his waist, pulling him closer.

"Because," he whispered, their lips almost touching, "I want you. Now. If that's all right with you?"

Apparently he'd gotten over his earlier hesitancy and was now more than willing to touch her.

"Very much so," she replied, her voice husky as her body clenched in anticipation of what was to come. His smug chuckle rumbled through his body and into hers as Helen shifted her legs, wrapping one around his waist. Nikola shifted his weight as one of her hands slipped between them, grasping his erection tightly and guiding him to her entrance. She watched his face as her hand moved on him, enjoying the slightly feral tone to his growl of approval before he slid into her slowly.

The breath rushed out of her in a huff, her body clenching as her nails sunk into his shoulders. Nikola groaned, his hips surging forwards inch by inch until both their jaws were hanging wide as they struggled to stay still. Helen could feel her body just barely accepting him, her muscles protesting as her mind begged for more friction.

"God almighty," Nikola growled, half glaring down at Helen. His eyes were almost black, face bordering on transformation and she was sure she'd never been more aroused. With a grunt, Nikola pulled back a fraction, making her gasp as he reached for her right leg, pulling it up until her ankle rested on his shoulder.

Helen's head fell back, hands falling to ball in the quilt of her bed while Nikola slipped deeper within her.

"God almighty," she muttered, enjoying his throaty chuckle of approval.

And then he began to move. Each stroke felt like pure fire to her nerves, the pleasure building faster than she had ever anticipated. Which was a good thing too, considering the small moans and grunts coming from the man above her. His pace was steadily increasing and Helen did her best to match it with each counter thrust of her hips. They were quickly spiralling out of control, bodies moving faster and faster and suddenly Helen had an overwhelming urge to properly touch him.

She carefully slid her leg down from his shoulder, wrapping both legs around his waist as she reached for his cheek, drawing him down for a sloppy kiss. Nikola muttered something against her lips, bringing one hand to her chest as their tongues met. His fingers teased her nipple mercilessly and her back arched in an attempt to feel more of him.

Their skin was beginning to slip against one another, sweat slicking wherever they touched and so Helen clutched him even more tightly. He pulled back from her mouth with a gasp, eyes desperate. She bit her lip, a shudder of pleasure coursing through her body.

"Helen," he murmured, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Helen, Helen, Helen." His hot breath made her skin pimple in pleasure and she felt her body began to shake.

"Niko," she gasped in reply, one hand knotting in his hair as the other migrated to the small of his back. He thrust deep and hard and she was done, spiralling into oblivion much like he was. Together they were gasping and writhing and, at one point, calling out each other's names in pleasure. To Helen, it felt as if it could go on forever, that their shared pleasure was too powerful to actually end. But, eventually, her body exhausted and her mind not entirely capable of complex thought, her hands slipping from their hold on him and her entire body seemed to sink into the bed.

Nikola's weight atop her was heavy but comforting and she wouldn't have him move for anything which was why she fought her natural instinct of melting to keep her legs wrapped loosely around his waist.

Nikola, it seemed, was incapable of anything coherent whatsoever nor did he seem inclined to even move from where he'd sagged against her. He was muttering something in Serbian against her skin, interspersed with little kisses that seemed to make her skin hum and tingle with pleasure.

"You are fantastic," he said, loudly enough for Helen to make out the words. He raised his head just enough to give her a cheeky grin before pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek. "Utterly brilliant."

"You're the best celibate lover I've ever had," she teased in reply, grinning along with him.

He threw his head back at that, laughing heartily and with a freedom that Helen hadn't heard from him in years.

"Imagine how disappointed you would have been if I really had been as celibate as those rumours suggested," he teased.

"They were mutterings of your own creation," she retorted. "I always knew they weren't true."

"Only because I made repeated attempts to prove it to you."

At that Helen merely sighed, rolling her eyes.

"You were awfully persistent."

"To our mutual benefit," he summed up before shifting down her body a little, his head pillowed on one breast. One of Nikola's hands moved up to tangle in her hair, too, wrapping a curl around his finger before raising it as if to inspect the lock.

Helen watched in silence as he played with her hair, enjoying the sense of companionship. It was a peaceful moment and she chose to relish it rather than wonder when his next quip would come.

"You know, of all the stupid myths I made about myself, I think the hair one was the most foolish."

She cast a glance down at him, not following his line of thought.

"I told the press that I couldn't stand to touch the stuff," he elaborated. "Which was entirely untrue. Well, not entirely. I don't like loose hairs, they are… disconcerting. But hair in general is fine."

"You were a very peculiar man," she agreed softly, running her own hand through his hair.

"Your hair was always something wondrous," he continued, apparently not having heard her. "Spun gold," he murmured, voice sounding distant. Then he grinned and looked up at her. "But I like the dark the best. Somehow, it makes you look more innocent."

"Do you think?" she asked absently with a little frown. "Normally I'm told the opposite."

"Oh, it adds to the mysterious enigma thing you have going on," he allowed. "But the way it looks against your skin…" He shivered, eyes shutting briefly before he gave her a small smile that was pure sex. He shifted against her, dipping his head so he could take a nipple into his mouth whilst maintaining eye contact. He gave her a hard suck and she gasped, her body shifting beneath his in pleasure.

He chuckled darkly against her before pulling away.

"You're like my very own fallen angel," he surmised softly. "Perfect in your imperfection."

She smiled down at him, not entirely sure what to make of this side of him. Normally, she would have expected him to be begging for round two by this point. He made a point of never wasting a moment of their time together.

But, instead of going for a quick grope or even trying a clichéd pick up line on her, Nikola simply settled back down against her breast with a contented hum, his arms loosely wrapped around her.

So Helen merely ran a hand through his hair once more, letting herself be lulled into a soft, almost sleepy place of contentment.

It was Nikola who was the first to break the silence after a few lovely long minutes with a kiss to the space between her breasts, his lips barely brushing her sternum before moving upwards to a spot on the underside of her jaw. Helen chuckled, licking her lips as she tried to breathe evenly.

"You've changed," he murmured against her skin. "Your hips. Your knees. Your breasts. You're all… different."

She stiffened slightly beneath him, unsure of the meaning of his words.

"I like it," he finally murmured, before moving back to smile down at her softly. "It reminds me that I have to cherish this because you always keep going if I don't watch you carefully."

She smiled at that, cupping his cheek softly. His answering grin was brilliant and her heart warmed as he shifted back down to rest with his head against her breast. Running a hand through his hair, she hummed in contentment.

It reminded her of a more peaceful time, when almost nothing could have come between them and, despite the fact that they were both naked, sweaty and smelling of sex, there was something almost innocent about their embrace.

"Nikola," she said softly, letting her fingertips trail across his temple. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"

"Of why you want to chain me up and keep me as your sex slave?"

"No," she said, rolling her eyes. "You perverted old vampire."

"Of why you never want to let me out of your sight again?"

"Impossible," she grumbled with a frown, giving up the idea of any more sentimental conversation. Apparently, the after-sex glow had worn off and he'd lost the ability to think of more than another go. Silence fell for a few moments before Nikola began to stir.

"I could keep going with this all night, Helen," he joked.

"I don't doubt it," she muttered.

He sighed heavily and held her close, apparently worried she was about to move away.

"Just tell me, Helen," he whispered, his lips ghosting across her skin once more. She ignored him completely. Until he started to whisper sweet nothings against her breast, that was. And his tongue began darting out every now and then. When she moaned, it was not entirely of her own choice.

Nikola pulled back after a few moments, grinning once more.

"Now will you tell me what it is you were going to say?"

"It's nothing," she replied, her breath a little huskier than she had expected it to be.

"Spill it, lady," he tried, giving her a jaunty little wink. She merely raised an eyebrow and he was grimacing. "I didn't think it would work, either," he admitted.

"You really are far more enjoyable when your mouth is occupied," she teased. He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"You love me regardless," he maintained and, though she could tell he was only half joking, she let the comment pass with nothing more than a chuckle.

He settled back against her side, one arm lazily thrown across her middle as a leg found its way between hers.

"You know this reminds _me_ of?" he asked after a beat, his voice little more than a whisper.

"No, what?"

"Christmas. I don't know which year, late 20's, I think. You made me sit and listen to some foolish old record for hours at a time until I thought my ears were about to fall off."

"You were rewarded rather handsomely, if I remember," she replied.

"Only because you were drunk," he teased.

"I was most certainly not."

"You had an entire bottle of wine to yourself."

"More like you had four and decided to pretend to be drunk," she countered and, much to her surprise, he didn't argue the point.

Again, silence fell and though the breeze from her open window was cool, she felt no urge to reach for a blanket. Nikola's body against hers was more than enough warmth for her and while part of her mind argued it was more of an emotional warmth that anything else, she did her best to ignore any of the more sentimental or gooey ideas that ran through her brain.

Until, of course, Nikola half purred against her side and then all kinds of memories sprang back to mind.

"Niko," she started again, "do you remember the first time?"

"The first time for what?" he asked cautiously.

She coloured slightly and turned her head.

"Our first time, old man."

He groaned and went to roll away from her.

"Helen," he moaned. She chuckled, following him as he moved to lie on his stomach instead.

"Don't run away, Nikola," she chastised with a smile.

"Don't bring that up," he grumbled, burying his face in a pillow. Helen chuckled again, moving so that she was resting against his back, her lips brushing against his bare shoulder.

"Why have you gone all shy on me?" she teased.

He merely grumbled, shrugging her off.

Deciding it was time to play dirty, Helen let one of her hands meander down his side, caressing his hip with featherlight touches that, in all of three seconds, had him moaning in an entirely different manner.

"Nikola," she crooned.

He turned as best he could with her body pressed to his back, glaring at her. "Unkind," he growled.

"I am not."

"Then don't bring that up."

"Why?" she asked with a laugh. "Normally you love to reminisce over our sexual encounters."

His face flushed with embarrassment, the tips of his ears flaming red.

"You're much more pleasant when your mouth is occupied, too," he hissed at her but Helen was not deterred, laughing merrily once more.

"There's no need to be such a prude," she said, trying to hide her smirk.

"Insufferable woman," he continued to mutter, giving her a dark enough look that a lesser woman would have crumbled.

"I'm not being callous, I promise," she tried softly, reaching for his cheek. He flinched away with a cruel symmetry to the way she had in Rome and, though it was so very long ago, Helen couldn't help the prickles of hurt it created down her spine.

He seemed to sense her discomfort and softened a little, leaning just a fraction closer to her.

"I…" she blushed, looking down. "I have to admit, I always thought it… remarkably flattering."

At that Nikola raised an eyebrow, propping himself up on his elbows as he gestured for her to continue. But, as suddenly as it came, Helen's confidence fled once more and she became acutely aware of the fact that she was lying in bed, very much naked, with Nikola Tesla; menace to her mental health.

"I… uh… No one had ever… You know…" she stuttered out, tripping over her words. Never had she been so nervous when discussing sex. Not even when she had been a green young thing exposing herself for the very first time had she been this tongue-tied. It was all Nikola's fault, she decided.

"Been so quick on the draw?" he offered in a drawling voice. She nodded once before shuffling back an inch or two. She had been just about to reach for the edge of the comforter to pull over herself when Nikola was suddenly in her space again, their bodies almost touching as he let his hand slip across her belly.

"You were the first," she acknowledged.

He chuckled darkly.

"I'm not sure if I should be impressed at myself for that," he replied. "But, really, it was your fault."

"My fault?" she echoed, blinking dumbly at him.

"All your fault," he agreed. "If you hadn't been so insistent…"

"I'm sorry, but getting naked was not _ my_ idea," she retorted.

"Yes but you were the one who started with all that heavy breathing. And then the begging. I was powerless."

"I did not beg."

"Liar. You did too."

"Well, at least I didn't finish in less than thirty seconds," she replied, triumphant. His face coloured again, his expression growing dangerously dark.

"Unkind," he again muttered.

"Only because you provoke me," she replied. "If you hadn't been so contrary."

"I am not contrary."

"Nikola," she said with a sigh.

"Did you have a point in all this?" he asked in a huff. "Or did you just want to embarrass me?"

"And here I was thinking that you enjoyed revelling in our sexual past," she teased, working to keep her tone gentle to avoid frightening him off.

"Then let's talk about Peru. Or Paris. Or Los Angeles. Or even Tokyo, if we must," he grumbled at her, letting one hand slip to her hip with a slightly too tight grip.

"Deep breath, Nikola," Helen replied, reaching up to slide her fingers into his hair. "It's next to impossible to be honest or even open with you, isn't it?"

"I apologise for not wanting to dwell on less than pleasant memories."

"I was not dwelling."

"You were taking pleasure in making me blush," he accused, suddenly becoming playful again. He grinned at her shifting their combined weights until he was hovering over her body, the look in his eye a little too much like a kid in a candy shop.

"I was trying to ask you about the origins of... this," she huffed, gesturing to their nakedness.

"I'm a sucker for a pretty smile," he tried, leaning down to kiss the side of her mouth.

"Still haven't answered my question," Helen replied, trying to be mad.

"Which was?"

"Why?"

"Because you're hot."

"No."

"Because _I'm _hot?"

"Nikola."

"Because I was absolutely terrified. And in love with you. And I wanted you more than I could ever explain."

She lost her words.

"Happy?" he huffed, shifting away from her. "Is that a sufficient answer for you?"

* * *

**Yes. I'm sorry. Again. But watching Resistance over dinner the other night reminded me that I hadn't written OR updated this in a while. So today, I am doing both. I'm nearly finished writing this one so updates should (but don't hold me to that) be more frequent.**

**Also, I think you will all get what Helen was getting at, yes? If not, Nikola was a two second wonder the first time he and Helen expressed their physical love :P **

**I promise it'll get angsty from here and then smoochy once more!**

**xx**


	7. Understanding

He moved almost entirely from the bed, swinging his legs over the edge as he let his shoulders slump. Helen waited for a long moment, her breath caught in her throat. Something about his words, as forced and frustrated as they were, touched her heart. She had always known that he carried a torch for her and, from time to time she'd let herself hope that it ran as deep as love but, for the most part, she had always thought it was simply affection, either for her body or for her mind, she was never entirely sure. But never love. Not even in her darkest nights when she hugged herself in comfort had she dared dream that he could truly love her.

Nikola was one of the few men she knew would be her equal, in any partnership. For all his lecherous ways, she knew that he respected her and, would treat her as an equal. He always had, despite what had sometimes been a rather intense sense of ownership. And, much to her younger-self's pleasure, he had never treated her as if she were made of glass. Tenderly, yes, but it came more from a place of friendship than anything else. Or so she had always thought.

Suddenly, his stark admission had her rethinking their entire relationship. She felt the overwhelming urge to revisit every kindness he had ever shown her, to spend hours over-analysing her entire life. But then she looked at the slump of Nikola's shoulders.

Carefully, she shuffled forwards, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, uncaring of the way he tried to shrug her off.

"Niko," she said softly, pressing a kiss beneath his ear. She wrapped her body further around him, crossing her ankles across his lap.

She felt him relax back against her ever so slightly.

Her tactics may have been dirty but Helen couldn't quite find it in herself to care.

"Niko," she whispered again, this time simply resting her cheek against his shoulder.

"Don't get all cosy with me," he grumbled. "I can see right through you."

"How can you when you're facing away?" she cooed.

He muttered something in Serbian beneath his breath before turning and almost throwing her backwards onto the bed. Helen yelped but before she could chastise him, Nikola's body followed her own, sealing her lips with a kiss. He threaded a hand through her hair, holding her mouth to his as his body pinned hers in place. It was strange to her that someone so wiry could possess such strength but, in the same breath, it was such a turn on that Helen found herself unable to marvel at it further. Her body melted against his, her mind screaming at her to do whatever he wished.

"I'm not that boy anymore," he snarled against her lips.

She gasped, back arching.

"I am well and truly in control of myself now," he continued, his voice still dark and seductive.

As if to prove his point, he thrust against her and brushed against where she needed him most, drawing an overly loud moan from her.

"Nikola," she whimpered, unable to keep from begging him for more.

"He is not me," he growled again before, much to her disappointment, pulling back. He sat back on his haunches, breathing heavily as he glared at her.

Helen blinked a few times, trying to clear the daze from her head. She wanted to yell at him for working her up as he had but, upon seeing such anger in his eyes she thought the better of it.

"Nikola?" she said cautiously, pushing up until she was sitting opposite him.

He made a noise quite like a snarl at her.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," she said softly, frowning in confusion. "I was merely curious."

"I am not that man anymore," he said again.

"I know," she replied. "I know, Niko. And I'm sorry if I've upset you. I didn't mean to."

He said nothing, just glaring at her with fists clenched. Her heart throbbed painfully at the sight.

"Please don't be mad at me, darling," she tried. There was a long beat before he let his shoulders slump, his gaze slipping to the crumpled sheets between them.

"I loved you so much," he said softly. "I... It was different. But I loved you. And I wasn't worthy."

His words had her crawling towards him, her arms around his neck in a heartbeat. He tried to push away but Helen held tight, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"I loved you too," she whispered. "It was different and not the way you deserved but... back then I loved you too."

His arms carefully moved around her midsection, holding her rather gingerly.

"I was so mean to you, Niko," she continued. "I don't understand how you could still love me after the way I treated you. I loved you then, in my own way. As much as I was capable. But I never told you. I was so... so... so afraid, Nikola. So afraid."

The words were tumbling out despite her best efforts to stop them, a few tears sneaking down her cheeks as well. She could see all her past unkindnesses presented before her, culminating in the man now trembling in her arms. His grip on her had grown stronger with every word she spoke until he was almost crushing her in an attempt to hold her close. But, for Helen it wasn't enough.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice cracking as she admitted the very thing she had spent so much of her adult life avoiding. She had, after John's betrayal, done her very best to avoid this kind of heart gripping love. She refused to let herself be consumed by that kind of overwhelming passion again, instead indulging in no more than love affairs that, while satisfying parts of her, left the rest of her heart as intact as it could be. It was foolish, she knew, to lock herself away because of one mistake when she was practically a teenager. She was not the first person in history to have their heart broken so dramatically and she knew full well she would not be the last but part of Helen was so very terrified of suffering that pain again that the thought of opening her heart made her blood run cold.

But it was Nikola. Nikola was the man in her arms, his grip like iron. Nikola was the man pressing his lips ever so carefully to her shoulder. Nikola was the man who had already bared himself to her in every way possible. He had not hid any of it from her, not even when they were young. She had always been certain of the way he felt about her, as much as she had been loathe to admit it and no matter how hard he had worked to hide the depth of his feelings, Helen had always been certain of at least affection. Nikola was something of a constant in her life, no matter how much they both had changed.

The past century and a bit had given Helen plenty of opportunity to think and rethink every decision she had ever made and while there were the obvious moments of regret, the one element of life she had consistently questioned was Nikola. They had spent so many lifetimes meaning so many different things to one another and now... Well, now the idea of spending at least a lifetime with him by her side had fireworks sparking in her heart. Though she highly doubted he'd let her get away with just a lifetime as his lover.

Or perhaps partner in crime was a better descriptor.

"Nikola," she said softly, finally managing to calm her body to a point where coherent speech was possible.

Nikola merely shook his head, burying his body further into her embrace.

"Nikola," Helen said again.

"No," he grumbled.

"Nikola," she said, this time firmer.

Nikola sighed and released her, rolling to the side of the bed and jumping to his feet without even a backwards glance. With startling efficiency he proceeded to gather his scattered clothes, neatly folding them as the pile in his arms grew larger.

"Nikola?" Helen cried, startled. "Nikola, what are you doing?"

He didn't reply, simply straightening the vest he held in his hands.

"Nikola?" she said again, moving to kneel on the edge of the bed.

He again ignored her, keeping his face studiously blank in a way that made Helen unreasonably angry.

With a growl, she reached back for a pillow, lobbing it at her troublesome vampire. He flinched as it made contact with the side of his head.

"Nikola," Helen ground out.

He blinked once at her before turning back to his task.

Helen threw another pillow.

He turned to her once more as the pillow impacted his behind.

"I swear this will not end well for you," she promised. Something flashed through Nikola's eyes before he frowned at her.

Helen sighed again and shifted back to rest on her elbows.

"Get back into this bed this instant," she said firmly. "I wasn't halfway to done with you, Nikola."

She watched his face as the clothes slowly fell from his arms, understanding finally sparking in his eyes.

"Why aren't you kicking me out?" he asked slowly.

"Why should I kick you out?" Helen replied.

"Because it's how this works?" he offered. "We get naked and then I get told to get out."

Helen's anger softened at that. Had she really been so callous towards him? Surely she hadn't told him to leave after every encounter they'd had. Had she?

"Nikola," she said carefully. "I..." There were words that wanted to come out, beautifully eloquent speeches to serve as apology for her past behaviour but she couldn't bring herself to talk. Instead, somehow, she found tears forming in her eyes.

Nikola took a stilted step towards her, something excruciatingly happy forming in his eye that she could see him working to conceal.

She wanted to reach for him, as if it could erase or even temper the damage she had done to their relationship, but her entire body seemed to freeze up. Her breath started coming in short, sharp bursts while her vision began to blur. There was so much she ought to tell him, so much that Nikola deserved to know but as the realities of where they were sank in, Helen could just about see her world falling apart at the seams.

But then his arms were around her, his body pressed against her side, his lips against her temple. He was whispering things, sweet things against her skin, his hands petting her gently as their bodies began to rock gently together. His touch was soothing to an extent but none the less, Helen's mind was still almost completely absorbed by swirling thoughts of their no doubt limited future.

He was with SCIU, the biggest threat to her work she had ever come across. And not only was he working with SCIU, he was voluntarily doing so. She understood his logic, even if it was somewhat flawed and, to an extent, she could understand his want to steal from the government who had stolen from him most of his life but she could not see any possible outcome that would allow her to never again give him up whilst still allowing him to opportunity to prove himself as her man on the inside.

"I won't give you up," he whispered softly, making Helen's breath hitch. "Never, Helen. Not even if you want to throw me out right now. I spent over a century not giving you up and..." His voice cracked on the last word and his arms tightened around her.

It still boggled her mind that he had waited around for so long, hanging on the scraps of intimacy she'd given in to over the years. In all honesty, it scared her. How could she reciprocate when she already knew her heart to be damaged almost beyond repair? She could not love him the way he deserved yet she was too selfish to willingly give him up.

"Nikola," she murmured, nuzzling against his chest. "Oh, Nikola. You just..."

"I just love you," he replied stubbornly. "I can't stop, it seems."

She let out a watery laugh at his belligerent tone though it sent bolts of pleasure through her.

"I know I'm not very good at it," he allowed, his tone softening. "I... I don't know how..."

Helen laughed again, pulling back to look sadly up at his face.

"I don't know how to do this either, Niko," she admitted, stroking his cheek. "And to be honest, I don't know if we can."

He frowned at that.

"I already told you, I'm not giving you up-"

"No no," Helen said with a shake of her head. "No, Nikola. It's not that, I don't doubt you... It's, well, it's everything else. It's me. It's SCIU. It's the network. It's Will. It's... it is everything but you, Nikola. After all these years, I can still recognise that stubborn streak you nurtured to a point of absurdity. I believe you, Nikola. I trust you."

And she did. No matter what, she knew she could trust him on this. He did love her. He wouldn't knowingly hurt her, not really. Not in any way that would leave lasting damage. He would always at least try to do right by her, in much the same way she would always try to do right by him. She always had, really. Never had she actively sought to hurt him. Pushing him away, denying her feelings time and time again, it was not about hurting him. Helen had, for all these years, been trying to hurt herself. Because if she was broken and damaged and incomplete and entirely unreachable, then Nikola couldn't be hurt by her. It was easier if it was on her and not him.

After her brief panic attack, Helen could feel her mind returning to normal. She could still see all the drastic options playing out but, so long as she didn't focus on the specifics, she was able to maintain some kind of logic.

"Nikola," she began, pulling back just enough so that they could properly look at one another. "Nikola, we can't do this." She felt him try to pull back but her grip was firm. "Not because I don't want to or because you don't want to but because of everything else. You said it yourself, working with me is treason. Everything has changed, I'm not who you think I am anymore."

"I don't care," he said stubbornly. "Helen, I-"

"Let me finish, you silly man," she chastised, pressing two fingers against his mouth. "It's... It's difficult. There is so much you don't know."

Nikola pulled her fingers from his lips before pressing a kiss to the back of her hand in a move that left her chest tingling.

"I..." she tried.

"I love you," he said somewhat roughly. "I love you, Helen and I swear to God, after everything I've been through, _we've_ been through... Trust me when I say that nothing is going to get in my way. Not after I finally got you naked and willing."

Helen barely stifled her chuckle at that.

"You're distracting me," she replied, not quite able to coax the right amount of displeasure into her voice. "This is a serious matter, Nikola."

"Then perhaps you ought to stop clinging to my naked body," he teased as if to distract her though Helen had a sneaking suspicion that he was perhaps a little terrified of what she might say next.

"There is so much about me you don't know, Nikola," she said softly. "And there is so much more I _cannot_ tell you, at least not yet. I can't ask for your blind faith, Niko, not after everything we've been through. But..."

"Start at the beginning," he suggested. "Tell me what you can. I think I'll be the judge of what is and isn't fair, though."

Helen took a deep breath and looked towards the roof for a moment.

"It doesn't matter," she said, not meeting his eye. "Even if I could... There is too much between us now. You and SCIU, me and the United Nations. It's too messy, Nikola."

"Messy?" he echoed, starting to sound like a wounded little something that tugged at Helen's heart.

"We can't be together, not in any way that would be even remotely acceptable to me," she replied.

"Acceptable to you?" His tone was now bordering on belligerent. "And what about what is acceptable to me, Helen?" he sneered. "What about what I want?"

"It's not about what we want, Nikola-"

"Yes it is," he growled, grabbing her by the arms. "This is precisely about what we want. For years, Helen, you've done the right thing. You've been the good little girl for as long as I can remember and I'm sick of it. What do _you_ want? Screw the bureaucrats and the paperwork and the governments, all of it! I don't care about them, Helen. I never have. I care about you, only you. You are the only thing I've ever really wanted and I refuse to let your astounding ability to over-think absolutely everything and anything get in the way of happiness, our happiness... _Your_ happiness."

He was breathing heavily, his eyes bright with a passion that made Helen feel entirely peculiar. Suddenly, her own breaths were coming faster and faster, her heart beating out an erratic rhythm as her hands began to shake. The depth of Nikola's emotion was evident on his face, the flush in his cheeks reaching to the very tips of his ears only this time it had little to do with embarrassment.

It took her a few moments to realise but Nikola had just been wholly honest with her. He had played his hand with no bluffs.

Helen swallowed.

"This will not get away from me again," he murmured, eyes glazed in a way that made her think he had forgotten that she was there. Not that she minded overly much. Helen was still far too thrown by the gift he had just given her. For all she'd been certain of his feelings for her, such openness and sheer honesty brought the first prickles of tears to her eyes. How could she give anything back to this man? He wanted to give her so much of himself yet Helen knew her heart was tattered. She could never give him her whole self, no matter how much she wanted to. After everything, Helen wasn't sure she was even capable of love.

Not that she deserved it, really.

There was something about Nikola that was, despite his best efforts, pure. He was a complex man but a simple one too. He was motivated by sometimes selfish desires but it was always... simple. He pursued greatness because he knew he was capable of it. He took from the government because they took from him. He pursued her because...

Just contemplating the answer gave her the chills.

She couldn't allow Nikola to give his entire heart to her; it simply wasn't fair to him. No matter how much she wanted to love him back, her heart simply wasn't up to loving him, let alone with all that she had.

Nikola's fingertips grazed her cheek lightly, collecting moisture Helen hadn't realised was there. Carefully, he lifted her chin until she was looking into his eyes once more. His gaze was solemn, as if he was resigned to a frightful fate and Helen found she couldn't allow it. She launched herself at him, their lips meeting messily as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Nikola wobbled back a little at the ferocity of her attack but soon had his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his body while Helen let her emotions control her. Her hands tangled in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp as she did her best to almost swallow him whole. It was messy and sloppy and she could feel Nikola starting to grow tentative beneath her but it only served to drive her passion further.

A soft breeze floated through the open window, goosebumps spilling over Helen's skin as she started to shake. Every inch of skin not pressed tightly to Nikola's warm body rippled with the cold, forcing Helen to squirm her way deeper into Nikola's embrace. He seemed willing enough, warm hands sweeping up the length of her back until Helen's feverish kisses toppled them both, Nikola falling to the bed with a huff that she swallowed in a kiss.

"Helen," he murmured against her lips, trying to pull back but she was relentless.

Half growling at him, Helen ground her hips against Nikola's, enjoying the way he gasped.

"No, Helen," he tried again, pushing at her shoulders. "Please just..."

Finally he succeeded in freeing himself from her grip but, before Helen could feel the sting of rejection, he flipped them, pinning her to the bed with strangely gentle hands.

He looked down at her with nothing but love and concern in his eyes and it made Helen's heart thump painfully.

"Nothing is going to come between us, Helen," he whispered. "Not your secrets, not SCIU, not the Network. Nothing. I will always love you, no matter what you can't tell me. You've always kept secrets, for as long as I can remember you've been keeping things from me but I can live with that, Helen. So long as I have you, so long as I have your heart, I can live with secrets. Don't keep _you_ from me."

Slowly, he leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in the softest kiss she had ever received. It was more chaste than anything she'd experienced in all 274 years of her life and yet never had she felt such passion. Her entire body tingled, nipples tightening as she arched up against Nikola. He pulled away with the smallest of sighs before one hand trailing up her side, again, achingly soft.

His fingertips ghosted to the edge of her breast as his lips flitted against hers once more, his other hand smoothing over the curve of her hip, the touch so careful and restrained she would have wondered, had she the brain power, if he thought she was made of the finest glass.

However, all she could do was gasp softly as her body sprang to life beneath his touch. Each fleeting caress of her skin set her nerves on edge, stoking a fire deep within her that had beads of sweat pooling between her breasts. Though Nikola was still between her hips, his hips pressed to hers, Helen barely had the presence of mind to note the fact, let alone take advantage of the erection against her thigh.

Instead she moaned, back arching to bear her neck to his feather-light kisses while his finger tips continued to leave trails of fire across her skin. His touch was tender, reverent, almost fearful yet the most erotic thing she'd ever experienced. He traced patterns across her breast, the pad of his thumb slipping across her nipple with the faintest of touches yet it made her cry out and push into his touch.

She wanted more, needed a firmer touch but his hands moved to her sides, gently learning the soft ridge of each rib. Never before had Helen felt so utterly worshiped. The way his fingers traced her body, discovering her inch by inch had her mind spiralling close to sweet oblivion while her body melted beneath his touch. It was so... so... so... She couldn't find the words to describe the tendrils of emotion that shot through her body, each making her heart thump heavily in her chest. Every beat of her heart somehow solidified and intensified the way she felt until, finally she could take no more.

"Nikola," she cried, her voice tight. "Nikola, please."

What she was begging for, she didn't quite know but he seemed to understand her silent plea, even if she didn't. His mouth moved with slow deliberation until their lips met and his kiss sucked the air from her lungs. Their hands were everywhere, holding one another close as if afraid of the cool night breeze that threatened to sneak between their bodies until finally, _finally_, he was sliding into her, making her gasp as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Helen," he murmured against her lips. She tried to reply, tried to form his name but all she managed was a series of breathless moans as her body began to shake. For a long moment, neither of them moved, content simply to feel one another but, with the mere shifting of his weight above her, Helen found herself unable to stop her body rushing towards the cataclysmic end she hadn't realised she needed to badly.

And Nikola, it seemed, was no better. Their joined bodies moved in perfect time together, adjusting and shifting without conscious thought or decision. In fact, Helen wasn't entirely sure if she'd ever be able to stop. The warmth curling low in her belly was beginning to blossom, the fire stoked by Nikola as he muttered endearments in her ear, his voice becoming more and more strained as their pace increased.

Helen was no stranger to sex, not by any stretch of the imagination and she had long supposed that Nikola was much the same but, in all her years, she'd never experienced anything nearly as consuming as what she shared with Nikola. Whether it was the result of decades of pent up sexual desire for one another or simply a by-product of the centuries long denial of her attraction to him, she didn't know and, for the most, didn't care. All that matter in that moment was holding on to it, holding on to him.

And Nikola apparently agreed.

He grunted softly above her, taking her lips once more with his for a messy kiss before stroking his nose against hers.

"Never let you go," he muttered under his breath, as if trying to keep the words from her. Helen shuddered, holding tighter to his shoulders while the truth of his confession washed over her.

"Never," she whispered in reply. "Never."

And she couldn't let him go. Not now. Not after this. Their lives were messy and complicated and part of her wondered if they could ever do something as straight-forward as have a relationship like normal people but Helen would not, could not, change what they did have for anything.

They could hide it, wait it out, pretend little had changed. Anything. So long as it meant that one day Helen would get the chance to love him back the way he loved her.

With a soft kiss to his cheekbone, Helen fell back against the bed with a sigh of pleasure, her lips curling in a smile as she let go completely and utterly, surrendering to the man currently loving her with all the he had.

* * *

**Ta-da! Sorry it took so long! In my head, from this point until SFN2, Helen and Nikola are hiding their relationship to avoid wrath and such :P**

**I know what I'm gonna do for Chimera but I make no promises as to how quickly I can get it written and posted, even if it's a short one.**

**Thanks to khudgens91 who, after figuring out my not so sneaky title for ACH, chose this to be her reward fic :P Hope it lived up to expectations.**


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